


Starchaser

by sapphiccats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/F, F/M, Hogwarts, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jegulus, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, POV James Potter, Starchaser, dorlene, jegulus week, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:02:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29695452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiccats/pseuds/sapphiccats
Summary: James potter had always been 100% straight and 100% in love with a certain red-head called Lily Evans. And then Regulus happened. Set at the start of sixth year with Regulus in fifth, James Potter and Regulus Black start to have a unusual friendship - until it becomes more than that. Jegulus (or starchaser) work their way through the year with the trials of love and the war and who knows if they can make it out of the year together.Work still in progress! I'll probably update every few days (more likely to be when i can)
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 26
Kudos: 75





	1. Back at Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> In honour of Jegulus week i though i would write a small fanfic about them! No cws at this moment in time but if there are they will be at the start of each chapter. All comments and suggestions welcome.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS NOR DO I SUPPORT JKR
> 
> Follow my tiktok @ilovemarlenemckinnon for more marauders related content and updates about the fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and the gang return to Hogwarts after summer, ready to start sixth year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad at formatting dialogue so sorry about that! I'm going to try post a chapter every day or every two days depending on if I have stuff to do. I hope you like it as this is my first fic that isn't just a one shot. Please leave comments - no matter if there corrections, suggestions, criticising or encouragement it would help to read them.
> 
> cw: mild swearing

Chapter One - Back at Hogwarts

The scarlet train whistled for the last time, signalling it was about to leave. James squirmed out of his mothers firm hug and glanced anxiously at the big clock that hung behind him.

  
“Mum! We have to go, the train is about to leave! Sirius come on!” he cried out in a panic.

  
His mother, Effie, sobbed ungraciously into a handkerchief as her son unwound himself from her arms,  
“I’m going to miss you boys,” she sniffed, “make sure you stay safe and try not to get into too much trouble! Oh and Sirius, make sure you eat lots - you're still looking far too thin.”

  
Sirius smiled at the show of motherly affection. Sirius had been living with the Potters since last Christmas when he had finally cut ties with the Blacks and got kicked out. It was still a sensitive subject and James still could see him flinch when his family were brought up. Since his arrival at the Potters on that one Christmas Eve night, he had immediately been smothered in love by Euphemia and Fleamont (James’ parents) and every time they showed affection or concern he still seemed slightly shocked.

The two dark-haired boys hugged Mr Potter goodbye and were roped into another one with Mrs Potter before they were able to haul their trunks onto the train. The moment they had stepped on, it had started to move and the sea of crying parents became nothing but a hazy blur of colour.

  
“Right then Pads, let's go find the others. They’re probably in the usual compartment.” James said as he caught his breath from the frenzied rush onto the train.

  
The two boys set off along the corridor, laughing and joking like the sixteen year old boys they were. Finally, they reached the end compartment and whipped the door open. A mass of tawny hair and gangly limbs launched itself at the pair as Remus greeted them.

  
“We thought you had missed the train!” He shouted like a madman with a crazed grin.

  
“Nope, just my tearful mother and her ability to not let you leave a hug,” James laughed back.

  
He had to crane his neck up to meet Remus’ gaze as he had shot up another couple inches and now towered above the rest of them at a grand height of 6’3’’. The next tallest was James at a decent 6’’ and Sirius was third tallest at 5’11’’ that made him awfully touchy whenever it was brought up. Then, at a meagre 5’7’’ was sandy-haired Peter.

As they all sat down across from one another, James noticed that Peter was very sunburnt and his pudgy little face was even redder than usual. Remus was a gangly giant as always but also had a significant tan that made his scars stand out even more than usual. Over the summer spent at the Potters, Sirius’s hair had grown a fair amount and now grazed his shoulders in a ‘punk rock way’, as Sirius had put it.

While Sirius and Remus caught up (if that’s what you can call snogging), James and Peter shared stories of their summers. James learnt that Peter had gone to California for a few weeks to see his sister, Philomena, and his parents had desperately tried to bring her home but failed miserably. Peter apparently still had a good time though and as he launched into a particularly energetic tale about a surfer and rambunctious seagull, the door banged open. Lily Evans stood with her arms crossed into the doorway and an irritated expression on her face. James was mesmerised by the way her ginger hair shone in the light when she moved and how her freckles from the summer basked in the golden light streaming through the window. He was young and in love.

“Remus! Come on, you’re supposed to be in the prefect's carriage now. They sent me to find you,” Lily said, her frustration leaking through.

  
As Remus apologised profusely and went to stand up and go, James suddenly called out to Lily before she left. He didn’t know why he got so brash and annoying whenever she was around - he couldn't seem to help it.

  
“Evans, go out with me!” He blurted out and felt his face heating up in embarrassment.

  
Lily looked fuming as she regarded him with a similar face one uses when they find something unpleasant on the bottom of one's shoe.

  
“Look, James!” she screeched in anger, “I am not interested. I will never be interested. Not ever! Leave me alone before I get Mcgonagall on you for harassing me. And wipe that incredulous look off your face. It is practically harassment. It’s been three years and not once have I said yes. Take a hint and piss off!”

  
And with that she flounced from the compartment leaving everyone a little shocked. Peter gave him a pitying smile before James turned and gazed out the window in embarrassment. He watched the hills roll by and cursed himself for his obnoxious personality. Why couldn't he just be chill like he was around the boys or Mary, Marlene and Dorcas. He was a complete fool. In that moment he swore to lay off the constant declarations of love for Lily and just try to regain her friendship at least. With a plan in mind, he let the calm sense of sleep wash over him and closed his eyes.

***

The welcoming feast in the Great Hall was as amazing as usual. After the sorting of the new firsties (Sirius and James had decided to make a game of shouting out a guess for the houses and whooping when they got it right - much to some of the teachers and swottier students irritation), Dumbledore had given his usual confusing speech about teamwork in these times of need or something like that. James was immensely annoyed about the way the headmaster always spoke in stupid riddles that only people like Remus and Lily understood. He was starving by the time the food appeared and wolfed two helpings down and pudding before he groaned in discomfort from the amount he had eaten.

“Jeez Potter, don’t they feed you back at home?” Marlene laughed at James after watching him devour a mountain of food.

  
“They do thank you very much. I just hadn’t eaten since breakfast as I slept on the train,” he replied with a sigh.

  
“Slept in shame I expect,” Dorcas said slyly with a glance at Lily, who was engaged in a debate with one of the seventh year prefects.

  
“Piss off,” James muttered and gave her a good-natured grin before heaving himself off the bench.

  
A sea of students clad in billowing black robes all clamoured to get out of the Great Hall and up to their respective common rooms. James joined the throng and used his elbows to barge his way through, hearing “Ow!” and “Do you mind?” in his wake. He was nearly at the front and in the Entrance Hall, when he fell straight into a Slytherin in front of him, due to the pushing and shoving behind him. It wasn’t just any Slytherin though. It was Regulus Black - Sirius’ brother. They fell in an ungracious sprawl of arms and legs, James face landing a bit too close to Regulus’ for his liking. They both sprung apart as quickly as they had fallen, brushing themselves off and sharing equally frustrated glares. James noticed that over the summer Regulus had grown taller and leaner, his quidditch muscles almost visible through his shirt and his face was rid of its babyness - instead the trademark Black cheekbones had finally come through. His hair was longer too, not quite as long as Sirius’ but long enough to reach his jaw and it was slightly wavier than Sirius’. There was a clear difference between the brothers. James though he looked good. He shook his head to clear the thought and realised he had been staring. Straightening up, James cleared his throat and felt his face heating up. He hoped that his blush wasn’t noticeable.

He tried again to match Regulus’ glare before the younger Black brother hissed “Watch it, Potter.” and sauntered away.

James was left standing there dumbstruck. Why did he care what his best mate's brother looked like? They weren’t friends or anything and James rarely spoke to Regulus. It was just the shock of it and his tired brain, he told himself unconvincingly and he tried to ignore the squirming feeling he felt in his stomach.

***

That night laying in bed, James couldn't for the life of him get rid of the picture of Regulus from his brain. The way his hair was and how close he was to his face when they fell. He burrowed his head into the pillow and willed himself to go to sleep quicker.


	2. Early Morning Quidditch Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reg and James have a run in whilst practising on the pitch. James is left flustered and needing to sort out his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm going to try make each of these chapters around 1-2k words and try get at least one out every two days.  
> As a queer person myself, I have had my fair share of internalised homophobia. That being said, what I have experienced will be very different from what James and other boys growing up in the 70s would have been like. If you think there are any inaccuracies or this to change, please leave a comment. Kudos and comments of praise are also extremely appreciated!
> 
> cw- mild internalised homophobia/denial and mild swearing

Chapter Two - Early Morning Quidditch Practice

The next morning, James woke up to the sound of his alarm screeching for him to get up. He checked what time it was - it read 5:30 am. Time for Quidditch. He fumbled around for his glasses and put them on so he could see what he was doing.

“James if you don't shut that damn thing up right now I will throttle you!” Sirius’ grouchy voice shouted from within his bed curtains. It was common knowledge that Sirius was not a morning person and he often skipped breakfast in order for extra sleep. As he often said, “I need my beauty sleep Jamie! Looks like you could use some as well.” That phrase usually ended in a wrestle between the two.

“Sorry mate just going down for a spot of Quidditch. Care to join?” James replied as he pulled himself out of bed and dug his Quidditch robes from his trunk, knowing already what the answer would be.

“It is 5:30 in the morning on the first day of term. Piss off!” Sirius replied dramatically and within seconds James could hear him snoring softly again. James was always a little disappointed that even though his friend was on the team as a beater, he didn’t share quite the same passion and dedication to the sport. Nevertheless, he enjoyed waking him early to annoy him.

Smirking to himself, he hopped around the room, trying to find his socks. Once he was finally changed, he trudged into the bathroom and clicked the door shut. He checked his reflection in the mirror and sighed - his glasses were lopsided and his hair a mess. It always was like a hedge but today seemed especially bad. It stuck up in all different angles so James pulled a bottle of Sleekeazy from the cabinet. It was kind of ironic how it was his fathers company and invention to give you a sleek and tamed mane, yet Fleamont Potter and his son both had a mop of unruly hair. After nearly half the bottle, James’ hair was semi presentable but he could live with it being a little messy seeing as he was only going down to the pitch alone.

After another few minutes of getting ready and brushing his teeth, James slung his broomstick over his shoulder and climbed down the steps to the common room. A fire was crackling in the grate and a few OWL and NEWT students were _already_ studying. There was also a hungover seventh year called Dearborne and a boy in his year called Fenwick who had gotten pissed on the first night back. That was never a wise choice to make. A few other early risers smiled at him sleepily as he crossed over to the portrait of the Fat Lady to leave.

His footsteps echoed through the empty corridors, the only noise except from a few snoring portraits and mewling cat. He absolutely adored Hogwarts and was ecstatic to be back. Growing up an only child with ageing parents made him long for another child to play with and although he now had Sirius, it was good to be at Hogwarts again.

***

Shortly, James reached the pitch and took for the skies. There was little else in the world he loved with such vigour than flying. He just felt… free. Free from the burdens of the war and friendship dramas and revision. When he was in the sky with wind in his hair, he was just James. Happy and carefree James. After a couple laps around the pitch, James returned to the ground to grab a quaffle before he flew back up. Since he had been a Gryffindor chaser for four years and flying with some of the best at Hogwarts, his aim was excellent. Every single shot he threw, he scored (there was no keeper to defend the goals though, but James ignored that and focused on his victories).

Whilst he was practising the Sloth Grip Roll that he couldn’t quite get the hang of, another player flew up into the skies clad in emerald green. Regulus Black. James groaned inwardly and flew over to Reg in a more frenzied manner than he had meant.

“Potter.” Regulus spat with disdain when he saw the chaser flying over to him.

“Ah Reggie,” James replied, smirking when he saw Reg cringe at the nickname, “what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the very same.”

“Well the thing is, I do practise here every morning and well, I have since third year. I assume you are here to do the same?”

“Well would you look at that, you aren’t all brawn and there is a little brain there as well,” Regulus replied with a glint in his eye that James had seen mirrored in Sirius when he thought he was being witty.

“Look, just piss off and go practice over on the other side of the pitch,” James said as he was beginning to feel uncomfortable talking to Sirius’ little brother for so long. He also felt a wave of self consciousness about the fact he hadn’t showered yet and his hair was all over the place.

The pair flew to their respective sides of the Quidditch pitch and began to practice again, James doing the Sloth Grip Roll and Regulus attempting the Wronski Feint. Every now and then, James would sneak a glance at the other boy before blushing and looking away again. He couldn't help noticing how his hair flitted in the wind and how his muscles showed through his jersey. Regulus caught him staring and assessed with a cool gaze and raised eyebrow. Flushing with embarrassment, James began doing what he was best at: showing off. He stood up on his broom and began broom-surfing. The Slytherin seemed impressed but was clearly trying to repress his awe.

With his ego considerably boosted, the Gryffindor even attempted a shot whilst standing up. He scored and had enough adrenaline coursing through him to even send a wink Regulus’ way that made the younger boy blush and get back to doing the Wronski Feint. Well, it looked like a blush but it might have just been from the exercise. James pushed the thought from his mind. Why did he care if Regulus blushed or what he looked like? It wasn’t as if he was into him. That would be weird and he wasn’t _queer_ or anything. He was 100% straight, he told himself, 100% _normal_.

Realising he had been sat still on his broom the whole time, he made a dive downwards and landed perfectly at the edge of the pitch. James shrugged his robes off and stepped into the nearest shower cubicle to wash before he joined his friends at breakfast. As he washed his face he thought about all the girls he liked. There was obviously Lily, even though they weren’t even civil with one another at the moment, that fit Hufflepuff in his charms class, Emmeline Vance was decent to look at as well, Reg was also-. He froze. He had to stop thinking about him. He was literally his best friend's brother and both of them were straighter than a pencil. As if he were practising Occlumency, he took the mental image of Reg and locked it away in a box shrouded with darkness and memories he wished to forget. Like when he walked in on a pair of Ravenclaws in a broom cupboard together. Thinking only of the bacon waiting for him in the Great Hall, James left the changing rooms.

***

“James my love, save me please! Moony is trying to force me to get a _planner_!” Sirius cried out dramatically the moment James sat down and Sirius sprawled himself over his lap.

“Pads, it’s the year before NEWTS, we’ve gotta get our shit together.” Remus replied exasperatedly. James doubted it was the first time he had said that.

“Rem it’s the first day back, lighten up a little! But Padfoot if you don’t get off in three seconds I’m gonna put bacon in your shampoo,” James said as he grabbed a piece of bacon to dangle menacingly in front of Sirius’ face before shoving it in his mouth.

That made Sirius sit up straight immediately and he glared before barking out in laughter, “You wouldn’t!” Before James’ could reply he waved and called out to the girls, who were walking over to the table. Due to habit, Lily happened to sit in front of James so he gave her a feeble smile that was returned with a glare.

“So um,” Mary said, trying to relieve the tension, “who is everyone going to Hogsmeade with on the weekend?”

“Well obviously me and Marls are going together,” Dorcas said, planting a kiss on Marlene’s forehead, “and I assume Rem and Siri are going together.” The two boys nodded in confirmation. “So… that leaves James, Lily, Mary and Pete single.”

“Actually, I have a date!” Peter squeaked from the end of the table, “That Hufflepuff in the year below with the long, blonde hair asked me!” Remus clapped him on the back to congratulate him and the rest turned to look at Lily, Mary and James. Mary revealed that she was going with a seventh year Ravenclaw she has sent letters to over the summer when Lily cleared her throat.

“I- er- I actually have a date,” she said and glanced warily at James, “Shacklebolt asked me yesterday actually on prefect rounds so I said yes!” Lily beamed with the smile that used to make James’ tummy squirm - yet now he only felt happy for his friend. He cheered along with the rest of his friends and (much to everyone's surprise) actually said he was happy she got a date.

“What? You guys are looking at me like I have three heads or something!” James said in confusion as he looked around at the others.

“No, it’s just that we thought you had a crush on Lily and now you're happy she’s with Shacklebolt,” Marlene replied in disbelief.

“Hmm? No my friends, you see that ship has sailed. I actually have my own date for Hogsmeade,” James answered humbly. Fuck, why had he said that? He doesn’t have a date at all so now has to find a rogue girl to seduce. Fucks sake James, he thought angrily.

“Alright, who are you and what have you done to James?” Sirius laughed, waggling his finger in James’ face. The pair started wrestling playfully before Mcgonagall took 20 house points and sent them to lessons.


	3. What’s on your mind Prongsie boy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James comes to a realisation and the gang want to have a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for no chapter yesterday but as an apology, this chapter has more plot to it than the rest
> 
> cw - swearing and mild internalised homophobia

Chapter 3 - Get it together 

The next few days were rather uneventful and followed a similar pattern. James would wake up early, go down to the pitch, see Reg and get flustered before going to the rest of his lessons. The pair didn’t really talk and just worked on the opposite sides of the pitch alone. A part of James wanted to go over and talk to him but he wasn’t sure how to just fly to him and strike up a conversation. Even though most of the school knew him as the arrogant and charismatic Gryffindor Captain, he found it hard to have a decent conversation with someone he liked. With Lily, he used to just shout nervous phrases at her and smirk like a fool but with Reg he couldn’t seem to find the courage at all. Did he like Reg? He tried to brush the thought away whenever it crossed his mind but watching the younger Slytherin practice Quidditch for an hour or two every morning made it significantly difficult to do so.

On Friday morning, James was sick of the silence. After observing Regulus for the better part of ten minutes, he flew over so they were side by side.

“What do you want, Potter?” Regulus asked impatiently, trying to out fly him.

“Well Reg, I was watching you fly and thought I would give you some tips!” James replied, grinning and he started to fly laps around the other boy.

“Look, I don't need them so piss off.”

“Ah, that is where you are wrong! I noticed you couldn’t perfect the Wronski Feint. That you will find is because you are sitting wrong when you dive. Try sitting further back and I assure you that you’ll be diving like a bird in no time,” James now had to try to catch up with Regulus as he was making a dive for the ground as a way to leave the conversation.

“Potter, I don’t need your little tips - in case you forgot I have my own captain so fuck off,” Regulus said frustratedly as they landed. He pushed past James and stormed off to the Slytherin changing rooms. At the touch of the other boy, James found himself glued to the spot. Why did he feel this way? The swooping sensation in his stomach and the flush to his cheeks was weird. As he traipsed to the showers, he tried to decipher what it meant. Here were his suggestions:

  1. He was intimidated by Reg
  2. He was ill with a fever and stomach bug
  3. He disliked Reg so much he made him feel like this
  4. He fancied him



James could already guess which one it was. He could barely believe it. James Potter, the school's sporty heartthrob, gay for his best friend's quiet little _brother_ . Maybe he was spending too much time with Sirius, Remus, Marlene and Dorcas. He laughed the ridiculous notion off and continued to think about this recent development whilst lathering his hair with shampoo. There was a very slim chance that he would ever actually _get with_ Reg. He was probably straight and he could scarcely begin to imagine what Sirius would do if he ever found out about this crush. Everyone in Hogwarts knew that the Black brothers did not get on. Especially since Padfoot ran away. As he rinsed the suds off him and stepped out the shower, James tried to think straight. Ironic. He realised there was no way he would ever actually _pursue_ his feelings or anything. Not in 1976. He knew the risk his friends were making with their relationships and he couldn’t even begin to fathom what sort of things would happen to him if anyone found out. 

*** 

“Mr Potter, I asked you a question. If you’re finally finished daydreaming, would you care to answer?” Professor Mcgonagall’s sharp scottish voice asked as James’ classmates snickered.

“Um… er- What was the question again Minnie? It slipped my mind for a second,” he smirked, knowing full well his teacher was definitely not a supporter of the nickname.

Mcgonagall glared but he could see a faint twitch of her lip that looked awfully like a repressed smile. “Ten points and twelve inches of parchment repeating ‘I must pay attention in class’,” She said, “Moving on, the principle of larger scale transfiguration is…” James groaned and started diligently taking notes. He didn’t know why she always took so many points of her own house. Slughorn for sure didn’t and even Flitwick tried to avoid taking points off Ravenclaw. 

Once the class was dismissed, Sirius came bounding up to him, Remus and Peter in tow.

“What’s on your mind Prongsie boy? My dashing good looks?” He cooed and took James' face in his hands.

“Get off me you wanker! Remus, control your man. I was just thinking about, um, Quidditch,” James replied as he shoved Sirius off him. It was clear as day that he had not been thinking about ‘Quidditch’. It was a shit excuse and by the raised eyebrows his friends gave him, he could tell they were not foiled. He was hardly going to just say, ‘Oh yeah Sirius, I was just thinking about how fit your brother looks in his sports gear and how much I want to stroke his hair.’ Not bloody likely. 

James was immensely glad that they had arrived at the Great Hall and conversation was changed to food instead. After a while of incessant chatter, he zoned out and trained his eye on the Slytherin table across the room. Regulus was sat tight lipped at the table, ignoring whatever his stupid friends were laughing about this time - probably some bigoted joke at the expense of muggleborns. He seemed to be eating only for the sake of doing something and James wondered what was on his mind.

“Oi Prongs, why are you staring at the Slytherins?” Peter asked through a mouthful of food.

“Just thinking about a prank,” James lied.

“We haven’t done _anything_ this year. If we don’t prank someone or throw a party soon, I’ll die!” Sirius complained and flopped dramatically into Remus’ lap. 

“Please no pranks, I'm literally a prefect so take the conversation somewhere else, but a party would be good. What about tonight? It is a Friday after all,” Lily suggested and the rest of them all nodded in agreement. It had been a while since there was a Gryffindor party and it was a custom to have one on the first week back. Jobs were given out and James was given food. It was a job no one really wanted to do because it meant walking all the way down to the kitchens and all the way back up again, laden with food. Still, someone had to do it so he agreed as they all filed out and went up to the common room.

***

“Prongs your hair look fine! Just go get the food before the party starts,” Remus said as James restyled his hair for the umpteenth time that evening. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so self conscious as he was. It was just a standard Gryffindor party and seeing as most people were planning on getting plastered, it didn’t really matter. He was ushered out of the dorm and before he knew it he was walking to the kitchens.

The Marauders had discovered the entrance to the kitchens in third year when Peter had leant on the painting and accidentally tickled the pear after being chased by Filch. Since then, one of them would raid the kitchens every day or so to keep the dorm stacked with food if someone skipped a meal or got hungry. Usually, some Hufflepuffs would be loitering around, seeing as it was near their common room. Luckily no one was around to report him but even if they had, Remus had lent him his prefect badge to fake authority.

The house elves seemed to love him and his friends, so when James went in they were eager to give him all of their latest bakes and treats. He liked the house elves as they made him nostalgic of home and his family’s little elf, Timmy. They had always interested him, the strange creatures, and he had often gotten into conversations with them when it was his turn to go to the kitchens. Not tonight though. He was already behind schedule and would be late to the party if he dawdled. 

Unfortunately, on the way out he walked straight into none other than Regulus Black. He wasn’t wearing robes, instead he wore a pair of high waisted, black bell bottoms and a Slytherin green turtleneck. James felt it should be a crime to look that good. It was as if the universe were taunting him by making him always run into this perfectly attractive boy that he couldn’t have. At least, he didn’t fall over this time as he really didn’t want to have to go back and get more food. However, he did make a prat out of himself. 

James could feel his cheeks redden as he fumbled for words, “I- uh, Reg hi.”

“Oh um, hello,” Regulus replied and he awkwardly scratched the side of his head. The pair both tried to walk past each other the same way and it was excruciating when they kept walking into one another. After they finally parted, James trudged his way back to where the party had probably started by now. His face was blazing and he desperately tried to calm down and push his thoughts away. It wasn’t working. He had to get over this silly little crush. He was Sirius’ brother for fucks sake! And a _bloke._ Get it together James, he told himself and walked into the rowdy party - all too ready to get hammered.


	4. A Real Life Adonis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James leaves the party and stumbles in on something he shouldn't have. A new friendship is in sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH FINALLY SOME GOOD PLOT DEVELOPMENT!
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading and the kudos! it would be amazing to get some more comments as well <3 kind of short chapter today sorry :(
> 
> cw - underage drinking (seeing as its a Gryffindor party), swearing

Chapter 4 - A Real Life Adonis

Once James had deposited the food onto a table and gotten himself a Firewhisky, the party was in full swing. Music blared out of the speakers and the mass of hot, sweaty and drunken students danced and kissed and laughed. He could spot Sirius dancing with Remus on a table, Dorcas and Marlene getting even more drinks and Lily was flirting with Kingsley Shacklebolt. And James was alone. 

He was always Mr Happy and the friend you go to when you need cheering up. Always the one listening to his friends problems but never sharing his own. When he was meant to be so many people's lifeboats and cheerful all the time, it was so easy for people not to notice when his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Or when his laugh was a little forced or when his eyes stung with unshed tears. For who would think to ask ‘How are you?’ or listen to his problems when they had their own?

Knocking back the rest of his whisky, James attempted to move to the exit - only to be thwarted by a group of drunk girls. They danced against him and fed him their drinks and food from their hands. If he has been looking, he might have noticed a rather jealous Lily glancing at him and flushing red. Instead he drank drink after drink and shouted to Abba. One of the girls moved closer and closer to him until before he could process what was happening, she kissed him. She had long mousy brown hair and was in his charms class. James could taste the alcohol on her lips and the sweet smell of jasmine in her hair. She was a decent kisser, no question about it, but it wasn’t what James wanted. He didn’t want to feel her soft, rouged cheeks or taste her lip gloss. He wanted to feel stubble and have the scent of musk fill his nose. He pulled away from the girl. 

Stumbling out of the party, James didn’t know where to go. He couldn’t go to the dorms because that would mean walking through the party again. It was too cold for the grounds and an empty classroom didn’t seem appealing. He opted for the astronomy tower. The walk there was hazy and James vaguely remembered bumping into some things. He was too drunk to notice or care. When he had finally dragged himself up the many stairs, James was not met with the solitary silence he longed for.

“Oi, no shagging in the tower. Piss off!” James slurred. Squinting, James could see the blurry shapes of two  _ blokes _ . As the two sprung apart from each other, he noticed it was Gid Prewett (no surprises there, he had a love for PDA and was not ashamed about it) and… was that  _ Regulus _ ? James froze. There he was, pining over the boy he thought was straight, only for him to be snogging a guy, shirtless as well. Fuck, they were probably together as well. Gideon and James had been fast friends since being on the Quidditch team together and James felt even more guilty about his secret crush.

“Oh er, sorry James mate. Me and Reg will take this  _ somewhere else _ ,” Gideon winked. They both rushed past him quickly and James noticed the large flush spreading across Reg’s face. Still shirtless, James thought he looked like a real life Adonis. Blushing at the thought, he went to sit on the ledge, his legs dangling precariously out of the tower. He still had a bottle of whisky in his hand and chugged it down in one. 

***

“Fuck!” James woke up with a start to the sun shining in his eyes. He was laying on the astronomy tower floor with an empty bottle beside him. It had been a long night. His back ached and he was tired from the poor sleep but at least he had the Potter immunity to a hangover. It was a Saturday so luckily he wouldn’t have to sit bleary-eyed through lessons. His watch said it was 6:42 am. Practically scraping himself off the floor, he stood up and stretched. Still half asleep, he climbed down and back over to his dorm room.

After a shower, James had properly woken up so decided to fly. It was quite nice weather out as summer was still desperately clinging on, so he was able to bask in the early morning sun in peace. He didn’t bother practicing that much like he would usually but just flew around, a grin plastered to his face. Until he saw a particular Slytherin flying his way. James tried to shake the image of Reg shirtless from his brain but only succeeded in blushing furiously as Regulus came nearer to him. 

“James, um about yesterday,” Reg started, turning a pale crimson, “just er- please don’t tell anyone please. If my parents knew…”

“Reg, look I won’t tell anyone. I’m cool with all that stuff y’know. Sirius also  _ plays for the other team  _ as well and he’s still my best mate, as you know,” James blurted out quickly, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. He almost said he was queer as well but decided that definitely was not the way to go. Regulus looked relieved but was still pink from the embarrassment. 

“Oh okay, good. Uh, do you- do you want some, um help with the roll you were trying the other day? I- I know how to do it,” Regulus stuttered, obviously trying to hastily change the subject.

“Thanks Reg, I would love that," James replied, glowing with happiness. What a lovesick fool he was.

The pair worked seamlessly together at Quidditch moves and, surprisingly, even laughed a bit at shared stories from their classes. James regaled a tale from when he had charmed Mcgonagall's hair pink, much to everyone's but hers amusement. Regulus told a story from when someone had charmed the whiteboard to sing opera for Flitwick. James' cheek hurt from smiling so much and Regulus could hardly breathe from laughter after many more stories. At the thought that he made Regulus laugh like that, James’ chest felt as if it were glowing and he grinned widely. Even if they weren’t kissing at sunset like James had fantasised about, this was still more than James had ever hoped for. He had made him  _ laugh _ for fucks sake!

After around an hour of Quidditch, James’ stomach growled in hunger so the boys headed for breakfast. They walked in companionable silence, the air between them thick with unspoken words. It was not okay for a Gryffindor to sit at the Slytherin table or vice versa, so the two had to split when they got to the Great Hall.

“Thanks James, really,” Regulus said, smiling fondly at him.

“Don’t worry about it! See you tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Course.”

James sat down at his respective table, reaching for the coffee pot when he heard someone clearing their throat.

“Need a cough drop Remus?” James said sarcastically, looking up from his breakfast.

“I’m good thanks, so was that  _ Regulus _ ? Or are my eyes deceiving me?”

“Yes that was. Reg was playing Quidditch as well so it would have been awkward to walk to breakfast alone at the same time,” James said absently-mindedly as he dived into a platter of bacon. “Don’t tell Padfoot or he’ll go batshit crazy,” James added quickly.

“I won’t don’t worry,” Remus said, eying him with a knowing look, “You're just  _ friends  _ so it’s all good.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked. Fuck, James thought, was he being to obvious?


	5. Bloody Sirius And His Dramatics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but eventful chapter today!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been a while guys! This one isn't as long but the drama makes up for it hopefully. comment if there are any mistake or typos as i sort of rushed editing this one sorry. for some reason i could t get this chapter exactly how i wanted it so sorry guys 
> 
> cw - underage smoking, swearing

Chapter five - Quality Quidditch Supplies

“Reg, really? You’ve _never_ pulled a prank? My ears must be deceiving me!” James laughed and tossed the quaffle to Regulus. James and Regulus had become fast friends. Instead of the cold silences and glares across the pitch, the two laughed and practised together today. Not that anyone knew of course. Sirius would go into one of his moods if he knew and Reg could not handle anymore taunting from the other Slytherins. James put their new friendship down to the incident in the astronomy tower and was very thankful for what had become of the awkward situation.

“I mean sometimes I helped Sirius with something back when we were little but not really no,” Regulus replied, flying a little closer to James. James froze for a second as Reg came nearer, smelling his cologne and shampoo. He breathed in the scent with a contented smile on his face. 

“Oi James, are you done being a sniffer dog yet? I asked a question,” Regulus asked smirking in the way that made James furious as he just wanted to grab his face and kiss him. Luckily, he had enough sense not to do that.

Instead, he blushed crimson and stuttered, “I- er. Sorry I- I didn’t quite hear.”

“Well, I asked if you wanted to come grab some more broom polish with me after this at the Quidditch shop. You said you needed some more and so do I,” Regulus said, they were now practically touching because of how close Reg had flown. James wanted nothing else in the world more than to go to Hogsmeade with him. All his friends had their own dates anyway so he wouldn’t be missed. 

Trying (and failing) to seem nonchalant about it, James replied, “Sure Reg. I’ve uh, got to go shower and stuff so I’ll meet you at the shop at 11?”

“Don’t be silly, I’ll just meet you at the gate instead and we can walk together,” Regulus said as he winked flirtatiously. He flew down to the ground with elegance and strutted towards the Slytherin changing rooms. James was left flabbergasted in his wake and flushing like a schoolgirl. He was going to Hogsmeade with _Regulus_! James had been on many a date before but never felt like this about them. Was it a date? James wasn’t sure. What he was sure of, was that he did not want to turn up smelly and in Quidditch gear. He flew to the ground and went to get ready.

***

Palms sweaty from nerves and teeth chattering from the cold, James walked over to where he could see Regulus playing absent-mindedly with his wand by the gates. He was wearing the same pair of trousers that he wore on the night of the party, this time with a rich, navy button down and cream woolen sweater vest. His hair was pulled back into a bun and his cheeks were pink from the cold. He looked angelic. James became self conscious in his own bell bottoms and burgundy sweater. He hadn’t been able to comb it properly in time so he looked like a right mess. Groaning, James gave an awkward wave to Reg and approached him.

On the way to the village, the pair made quiet small talk, talking about lessons and school and ‘It’s so cold!’. James was all too thankful when they arrived at the shop and he darted over to where the polish was so he could regulate his breathing. He didn’t know how long had passed while he stood there gripping onto the shelves for support but Regulus suddenly rounded the corner and came over to him.

“I bought some polish so if you wanted to get whatever you needed, then we can go to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer - its fucking cold out!” Regulus exclaimed and waved the polish around.

“Yeah I’ll just pay for this here,” James grabbed some polish and went over to the checkout feeling considerably calmer. That sense of peace did not last long. As soon as he had paid, Regulus seized his hand and dragged him from the shop, saying that all the good tables would be gone before long if they didn’t hurry. James knew his hands were sweaty against Regulus’ smooth, soft palms. He desperately tried to get his body to stop sweating with his mind, but as you might have guessed, it didn’t work. Oh god, he thought to himself, Reg is probably super uncomfortable right now with my sweaty hands. He probably wanted to drop it but won’t in fear of being impolite, James said to himself in his head. 

They finally reached the Three Broomsticks and Regulus went over to order them both drinks, leaving James sitting at a table alone trying to quell his nerves. He played with his hands just so he could do something when he heard someone calling out his name. Thinking it was Reg back with the drinks, he looked up grinning. It wasn’t Regulus. It was Sirius. James groaned and gave him a weak smile, willing him to go away but he didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Prongs!” I didn’t see you this morning, you must have left early. Going on a date with that elusive lady friends of yours, eh? Where is she then?” Sirius asked looking around expectantly. 

“James I got the drinks! Here you g- oh um. Hello Sirius.” Regulus had just arrived with two bottles of Butterbeer in his hands. At the sight of his brother he visibly paled and started nervously chewing his lip.

“Reg? What are you doing here? James is on a _date_!” Sirius said, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Padfoot,” James murmured whilst looking desperately between the brothers. He really hoped Sirius would get what he was saying so he wouldn’t have to explain. 

“What the fuck guys!” shouted when he finally realised and stormed out of the pub. James and Regulus were left there in shock as the people at the neighbouring tables stared at them.

“Well I guess I better go after then, sorry Reg I had a great time,” James said awkwardly as he stood up and gave Regulus a timid smile before rushing out the door. As he ran through the cobbled streets like a madman, James cursed the universe for its bad timing. He was _finally_ doing something other than throwing a quaffle with Regulus and Sirius had to butt in and cause a scene. Bloody Sirius and his dramatics. 

By the time he reached the castle, James was severely out of breath and he panted as he climbed the stairs to Gryffindor tower. Upon entering the common room, James spotted Sirius sulking on the windowsill with a cigarette between his lips. The only other people in there were first and second years as everyone else was at Hogsmeade. James walked softly over to where his friend sat and opened his mouth to speak before Sirius spoke up.

“What the fucking fuck did I just walk in on there James?” Sirius asked angrily. He stubbed his cigarette out on the bottom of the window sill and turned to face James. He only called him James when he was pissed off so James knew he was in deep shit. As Sirius’ cold grey eyes bored into his, he found himself at a loss for words.

“Saying something then!”

“Pads it's not what you think. I was just-,”

“Just trying to shack up with my brother, hmm? Since when were you queer?”

“No Sirius, it’s not like that. I was just getting some broom polish at the same time as him and he suggested getting a drink, please S-”

“Likely fucking story. So then, are you queer? You didn’t say you weren’t?”

“I- um, yeah,” James replied, hanging his head and looking at his feet.

“And do you like my _little brother_?” 

“No- I just… uh, look it's just that-,” 

“Piss off James,” Sirius hissed and flounced up into the dormitories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, i did say the next chapter would be out by now but i have a few things going on in my life right now so it will probably be a few more days til the next chapter is out. it should be out (fingers crossed) by saturday at the latest! sorry guys <3


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